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[Pursing his lip, TJ wasn't quite sure how to answer that. He'd enjoyed the distraction, talking about anything and everything other than his face being detached from his body for everyone to see. There was some embarrassment there. Considerable embarrassment, actually.

Rolling onto his side, facing Psii, TJ let out a breath.]

Can't we just keep talkin' about your planet a while?

...We gotta talk about it thometime, man. [He looked right back, brow furrowed a bit in unavoidable worry.] Before I leave, we gotta talk about it.

[Because, no disrespect to all the humans he'd met here and become fond of, but their race as a whole was generally a bunch of delicate losers. If TJ was a troll, "it doesn't bother me" would be a lot easier to believe. But as it was... Even with what TJ had told him, he was still worry.]

We can keep talkin' about Alternia if you want, but we need to talk about your deal at thome point. Okay?

[The vulnerability in TJ in that moment, splayed out in a pile of beige, was uncharacteristic of him. No smile danced across his face, there was no joke on his tongue, just a heavy look in his eye that seemed to be staring at anything but the shop around him.

Sliding his glance up to Psii again, the most immediately apparent thing was that he wasn't high at all. The second was that his eyes were still red as hell.]

Don't got a deal, man. Don't got no more deal than you've got. I promise.

[And the thing is, he did promise. No lies. Just honesty.]

All I want right now is to go t'sleep n' have you tell me about somethin' sweet from back home. [He paused, remembering that 'sweet' and 'Psii's life' didn't overlap much.] Anythin'. Don't even have to be sweet.

[Psii very obviously couldn't believe that, not with the way those eyes were red and the worn down way TJ had been ever since he'd stepped through the door. But what could you do? He wasn't an expert on this. He wasn't sure if now was the time he should push.]

[Well... When in doubt, listen to what they say. He took a breath.]

Anything ith pretty fuckin' vague, TJ. At leatht gimme a vague direction to go to here.

[They were learning. Like teenagers testing the boundaries of a friendship that was new to both of them. It was hard, but it was important, too. It was the necessary steps to building something great.

Psii's complaint made TJ smile, genuine.]

Aight, ass. Tell me... tell me about you n' your friends. Back home.

Jeeth, you want the muthy crap firtht, huh?

[But he's sort of grinning, despite himself, even as his heart gives a painful little twist. It always does, whenever he thinks about how none of them are here with him. When he thinks about what happened on Alternia.]

[That depressive swing is over and fucking done with. He wants nothing to do with it right now.]

Okay, well- tho the firtht time I met them, it watch becauthe me and my hivemateth had heard about thome bulgebag gathering people up for thome meeting. Which ith alwayth pretty illegal, you know- highbloodth get trigger prongth whenever they think uth thewerbloodth are getting ideath. But it'sth the kind of illegal that'sth tiny in comparithon to a lot of other crap, tho we were like "well we for once don't have anything elthe to do, fuck it, it'll be entertaining maybe".

Tho I go, the place ith rundown but packed, and there'th thith group of people all up at the front. There'th thith one douthebag who I thwear I thought didn't have hornth, they were tho tiny I felt bad for him. And then he pulled back hith hood, opened hith mouth, and it wath like a divine fucking revelation where I realized-

[He spread his hands out mystically.]

I wath going to punch thith chatty mutantblooded dickback right in the face. I hated him tho much, I wath upthet at mythelf that I didn't think to bring either a bucket or the idea of where to dump hith body. If there hadn't been tho many other people around, I probably would have gone up to him in the middle of hith grand world-changing thpeeches, and I would have given him a wedgie tho bad that either his junk would quit working for eternity or they'd go tho far up I'd be able to choke him with the remaining material.

[At the start of Psii's story, TJ was content to close his eyes and let the words wash over him. He was tired. Exhausted really, down to his goddamn soul. Hearing a lispy, expletive-peppered story was about as good as a warm cup of chamomile.

Of course, until it took an unexpected (and yet, with Psii, wholly expected) turn. TJ's eyes were still closed, but his laugh shut them tighter.]

You fuckin' dick, man.

[Psii just laughed back, lips pulled back in a shit-eating fangy grin.]

What? I wath! I hated him a lot.

[There was a pause, and he found one of his hands rubbing softly at the side of his neck.]

But- y'know. I wath in a bad place. Everything could gargle on kniveth and nothing wath good. I wath alwayth fighting, alwayth trying to not die, and it wath at the point that I hardly knew why. Why wath my life any better than anyone elthe's?

Then you have thith tiny talkative prick come up and thtart going on and on about a better future and trollth getting along... It wath thuch an optimithtic ramble, it grated. I couldn't help hating him.

Every other troll attending that dumb meeting walked away at leatht partially convinced, but me, becauthe of courthe I'm a humongouth prick, I went right after him and got into an argument trying to tear hith whole idea to pieceth. At the end of it, I thtormed off and thwore that I would never come to one of hith dumb thuicidal peace talkth again. [A snort.] Tho of courthe I came the next night.

...He never really held it againtht me, the whole douthebaggery I got up to in the beginning. He alwayth wath happy to thee me, actually. Like, from the thecond we locked eyeth acroth the room, he wath happy.

Goddamn weirdo.

[But it's a condemnation said with such painful fondness, it might as well be a declawed purrbeast for all its bite. He loves Signless, he loves all of them even for all of Disciple's ridiculous cat puns and Dolorosa's rainbow drinking thing. Not even romantically for any quadrant, just painfully and utterly and completely.]

[It's what kept him with them even when he knew everything was doomed.]

[TJ couldn't help starting to fall asleep. Psii's words held the cushy softness of nostalgia and memories of ultimately enduring times, for all they were shit. TJ could get that. It reminded him of when things were good at the Cantonese place, or with Norm and Michael. When he felt like there were options, however limited.

Honestly, this place wasn't much different. Sure, it was a hell of a lot more dangerous, but the people here? The people here were important. TJ had only known the Signless briefly, and never met the others at all, but hearing Psii talk about them made it feel as if he'd known them all his life. It was comforting in a profound way. He could only imagine what it was for Psii.]

M'glad. [TJ was more asleep than awake now, but he still managed to speak, glasses smooshed up awkwardly on his face.] You knew 'em.

[In that moment, it was a little bit impossible not to feel a twang of protective pity reverberating against the inside of his bloodpump. It was temporary, he knew he said that, but could anyone blame him?]

[Ridiculous stupid fucking stoner with the scars he tried to pass off and a past that clung to his ankles determining how fast or slow he could go at any random time. With how much self hatred boils in his stomach sometimes, it was surprising sometimes to him just how much he can like the guy with all those similarities when he'd sooner punch himself in the face for the very same traits. With an awkward kind of tenderness, he threaded his claws lightly through those dumb yellow dreads one more time.]

Yeah. Me too. [The gentle fuzzy warmth of psionics flowed along the furs, tugging them up and wrapping TJ around them securely.] C'mon. Go to thleep.

I'm thtaying here for ath long ath you need me.

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i want to read a field guide to earth as written by psii

"do not hold an earth human'2 hand or el2e you wiill be mated for liife, apparently"

HE'LL LEARN, PSII. HE'LL LEARN.

"they partake iin gro22 2melliing drug2, try not to choke on them, ii 2ure a2 fuck diid"

omfg

is that towards the field guide or the story

both

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