THE BOX || A Long Goodbye

[arollingstone]

A side note: TJ has dyslexia and because of this, his syntax while writing is not always 100%. Several of these were written with help from Amal and it will be noted if the handwriting is different, but if TJ wrote them itself we’re just going to imagine the errors instead of me typing them out. One, because I am much less likely to be offensive that way and, two, because it’s distracting to type/read. Feel free to imagine them as botched as you like!

I also doubt TJ would write out the apostrophe hell that is his speech pattern, but for the sake of capturing his voice, we're going to just pretend together.

Onward!

Navigation
Amal ☀ Fun Ghoul ☀ Poison ☀ Tali'zorah ☀ Saya ☀ Party Poison ☀ Toboe ☀ Regina ☀ Clem & Duck ☀ Clinic Staff (all clinics) ☀ Eddie

Amal

The letter itself isn’t much to look at. TJ’s handwriting wasn’t bad, but the multiple ink smudges and corrections made it a bit difficult to parse. There were considerable errors in spelling, but the main message got across anyhow. Along with the letter itself, an assortment of varied loose leaf teas from Bruce's garden are wrapped up along with it, making the paper very fragrant.

Heeeey, sorry in advance for the way this one'll come out. Havin' you write this for me kind of ruins the purpose. I can kinda see you through the door, gnawing at your pen nib tryin' to write one of these for me. Man, don't stress. No matter what goes down, it'll be okay. I know I should be sayin' shit like I'll always love you, or somethin' like that. And hey! Not sayin' that ain't true, 'cuz it is, and you're one of a fuckin' kind, Chachakravarthy. My heart is yours for the smashing, and that's no joke. But I ain't gonna say all that, because if I done half as well by you as I should you already know that. Damn, dude, I should tell you every day. Probably gonna tell you as soon as I'm done writin' this, but I should finish up first. You're gonna be okay. You're tough, got a beast in you that's so fuckin' big and scary and fearsome with those creepy little hairs all over and big claws. It'll protect you when you feel like you can't protect yourself. I don't care how weak you think you are: everyone dies here, at least once. S'a right of passage. What's important is that you don't let that shit beat you. Remember that. Rememberrrr REMEMBERRRRRRR!!! Haha, Lion King was an ace movie. I hope you're smilin', otherwise we're gonna have words someday. Love you, dude. You're gonna be okay. -TJ PS. I hope fresh tea doesn't go bad. If it does, er... well. Sorry 'bout that. PPS. Not tryin' to overestimate my value or nothin', but don't keep yourself locked up to new people on my account. That ass is like a Canadian sugar maple: it is meant to be tapped. PPPS. If you wanna do somethin' for me... y'know, after, just make sure it ain't too dour. No black allowed. Wear somethin' that makes you happy n' makes your ass look good, 'cuz you know I'm gonna be scopin' that shit out from my casket. Just... smile at least once. Do some dancin'. Get drunk, but not drunk enough that you get sad. I know you do that sometimes. N' do me a favor and say somethin' nice for me, would ya? I never did much in my life right, but I'm pretty sure you were it.

Fun Ghoul

This piece of paper appears to come from one of TJ's notebooks, and it covered with doodles. There's barely a square inch left that doesn't have something scrawled across it, be it versions of Ghoul's tag, a few joking Captain Cock designs, or just the simple, flowing lines that Ghoul knew TJ by best. The letter was clearly written by TJ's hand alone. At the very topmost corner of the page was a detailed drawing of a sunflower and tucked away with the letter is a handmade necklace -- a simple washer strung on a long leather cord.

I've rewritten this a few times now. Thought I'd just send you all of 'em, but who wants to do that much readin' when there're probably crazy monsters on the loose killin' supremely chill folk such as myself. So I'm consolidatin'. Care about you, dude. Always gonna, always will. What you said 'bout the witch, way back at the start, when we barely knew each other? Man, that's the shit you gotta hold onto. The shit from home, the stuff that made it livable there's the same stuff that makes it livable here. I'm cruisin' with a rad witch sippin' cocktails, you don't gotta worry 'bout me. Worry 'bout keepin' that chin up and those boys of yours in line. And that girl. And the little girl. Shit, man, I can't even list 'em all. You built yourself a pretty badass family n' it's your responsibility to protect 'em, like I know you fuckin' can. Don't sweat this. You got it. N' you're gonna make it just fine. I love you, man. I know you might not always think I did, but I did n' I do n' I never stopped. -TJ

Poison

The sign of Amal's help is clear on this one, though only in the main body of the letter. His influence cleans up TJ's style quite a bit, but there are spots where TJ breaks through despite it. Scribbles and doodles in the margins of this note too, clearly done after the fact and with an emphasis on cheesy jokes. He wanted to make her laugh. Taped to the bottom of the note is a small key.

Sunshine! SUNSHINE!!! I hope you forgive me being sappy for a minute, but I'm going to miss you. I have Amal writing this for me because I know writing and stories are important to you (heeeey - Amal). I figured I should do right by you and make this legible. Don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't write it too stiff. (>:() You're my family, girl. True blue, thicker than water, and precious. I am not a man who is flush with family back in "Real Life", and the appeal of it hasn't worn off on my one iota. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would find a sister like you, though. You raised the bar pretty damn high, Sis, and no matter what happens I'm not going to forget you. This key opens a lock box at the TSO. All my tattoo shit, drawing supplies, it's all in there. I'm so proud of you, chica. You're going to do amazing work, I know it. -TJ

Tali'zorah

Amal helped with this one as well, but wrapped up along with the note is a pouch of what must be nearly 50 bottle caps, painstakingly cleaned and sterilized so their designs showed through. There were a few repeats, but most of the designs were unique. The collection must have taken some time to assemble and prepare.

It's been a long road, Polliwog. Longer for you, I would be willing to guess. I know this probably isn't easy for you. Hell, putting you through hurt isn't easy for me either, wherever I am. You aren't unfamiliar with loss, so I'm not going to go into my advice on dealing with this kind of thing. You're a pro, and fuck all if I don't respect you for keeping on anyway. I respect you when you fail, too, because at the end of the day, it takes about as much strength to break something as it does to hold it together. Either way, you've got toughness in spades. I'm not worried about you making it at all. So this is more for my piece of mind, in the end. I love you, kid. I care about you. And if I do, so do all the other people who left you behind over the years. You aren't alone and you never were. -TJ

Saya

Like the others, the letter is touched by Amal's hand. However, the letter itself is written on an unconventional piece of paper. Namely, a photograph, of TJ, Jesse, and Saya herself. In the upper-right corner, in TJ's familiar scrawl, are the words 'TSO Familia' written out in faded ink. which em will be drawing eventually, stay tuned

Sweetheart, you are one of a kind. No, really, you've kicked my ass up and down this city and somehow that just makes me love you more. Call me crazy or a masochist, but they just don't make them like you anymore. I think I'm going to miss that wrinkle between your brows most, but what I really hope is that you don't miss me too much. TSO is a big job, but I know you're the one to keep it up and running. Honestly, you always were the one who did the most for it. I was just the pretty face (actually, you kind of handled that part, too). I trust you, girl. You're stronger than most of them out there, and they need you. Promise me you're going to keep it up for me and for them. Alright? Alright. Wanted you to have this picture. You seem like the one who should hold onto it. -TJ

Party Poison

This one was written almost as an afterthought, on a small scrap of looseleaf. If not for the envelope TJ slid it into (and the careful drawing of a stick of dynamite, fuse just about to blow tucked in beside it), it may have been missed entirely as a stray piece of rubbish.

Know you don't need to hear it from me but take care of him. -TJ

Toboe

It's the parcel that's more of a prize than the note, in this case. An assortment of dog toys were wrapped up for him, most in pretty decent shape. TJ debated whether or not this would be offensive or not, but in the end, it seemed a moot point. He'd be dead, after all. The worst Toboe could do is reject them.

Somebody told me once that dogs need to chew to relieve stress n' shit. Figure you got enough stress to last a life time, n' I know you're a dog not a wolf, but I thought maybe it still applied. Know it doesn't mean much now, but... I wanted to thank you for savin' my life. And that I haven't told anyone about... well, yeah. Good luck out there, alright? -TJ

Regina

Amal's doctor handwriting is at it again, this time over one of the smoother, cleaner sheets of paper TJ managed to find. Tucked inside is a handwritten "coupon", in TJ's own scrawl, for free access to any baking ingredients she might need at the TSO from now until the rest of time. He still owes her that favor, after all.

I never did repay you for those apples, so I'm hoping this makes up for it and then some. I don't know how well you've been able to keep up your baking, but that little scrap of paper is good for whatever you might need from is in perpetuity. Believe it or not, your Candyman draws a lot of water in that little arcade (by default, sort of, but here we are). Wanted to tell you that I know. Never wanted to tell you in person, thought it might change things between us, but Amal told me. I just wanted to tell you that I'm not going to say I condone everything you've done. I don't know the details, but even if I did, that's who you were. I don't think I met that you, or if I did, I met a different side of you. Nobody has to be what they're supposed to be in some book. And if you're evil to someone else, I'd like to see what they would say about any one of us here in this place. Stay beautiful, Reg. And rest easy knowing I would have hit that to hell and back again. -TJ

Clementine & Duck

The letter itself is primarily addressed to Clementine, but the package along with it is clearly for Duck. All TJ's comics, every last one (save the very first one he received, which will be staying in Amal's possession unless he chooses to give that away as well), are packaged up nice and neat and ready for devouring. At the top of the pile is a small switchblade, with a winking alligator carved into the handle and 'Clem' written on a bit of masking tape attached to the blade.

The letter itself is written in Amal's hand, but TJ has doodled superhero version of both Clementine and Duck in the margins.

Alright, Clem, I figure you'll be doing the first read through on this. Wanted to tell you something important: don't forget to be a kid. Being hardcore and prepared and ready for anything, that will keep you surviving (and that's important). But being able to cut loose, laugh, and smile, that's what keeps you alive. They're different things, and one isn't worth shit without the other. You guys are welcome to use any of the machines at the TSO whenever you want. I just wish I could be there to show you how to rock the sides off that Ms. Pacman machine. -TJ

Clinic Staff (North, South, and Robot)

Despite it's official nature, this note is written in TJ's own hand. It's written in a way that implies he's copying from something else, which doesn't erase his mistakes but lessens them. Whatever the case, it's clearly important to TJ that this note be in his own writing.

It's no secret that I have a vested interest in the clinics around here. I wanted to make sure that you all continue getting the same treatment we've been giving you, no matter who is in charge of TSO at any given time. Hopefully, they'll have a modicum of respect for the guy who helped start it up and will honor this going forward. Whether I'm around or not: All clinic staff members will receive what they need to effectively serve the community free of charge. This covers all medical supplies/items required. And coffee, because I figure they'll need that, too. And if for whatever reason, you're runnin' the TSO now and you don't accept this, I'm gonna haunt your ass like that shit was built over an Indian burial ground. -TJ

Eddie

This one looks on the newer side, for all the paper was clearly found a while ago. The ink is fresh and unfaded, and there are bits where it's clear TJ started to draw something only to plot it out. This is decidedly in TJ's own hand, as Eddie would assuredly be familiar with after knowing both he and Amal.

Sorry if this seems a little weird, know we ain't talked much, but the tattoo-artist/canvas bond is a pretty strict one, so I'm gonna go ahead and write it anyway. 'Sides, you're a good guy. N' you got wires here. Obviously, I ain't in a position to ask you this myself, but I got a favor to ask. You got eyes on the community. I know Amal ain't your top priority, but I know the guy, know how he is, n' he's just... make sure he's doin' right by himself. Keep him goin'. He likes havin' stuff to do, so y'know, just whatever you can do. I trust you. He's strong, but I dunno if he knows it yet. -TJ PS. See my girl Poison 'bout that tat, if you're still gettin' 'em done by the time you get this. She's green, but she's good.